What do you really hunger for in life?
Maybe you don’t have a specific thing, but you’re not fulfilled.
You know there’s something more you’re supposed to do.
But, You just can’t seem to tap into it.
Or, perhaps you know what you want to do, but taking the leap seems scary and unrealistic.
I’ve been there, babe!
In fact, I’m going through something similar, and I’m going to take you through all of the steps that I use to getting unstuck!
You’re probably going through the motions of:
I’ll do this when….
It’s not realistic….
There’s not enough time….
I just need to save more money….
or simply: You know what, it probably won’t work out….
No, What you need to do is get out of your comfort zone. This is non negotiable.
It’s okay if you feel scared. Just keep reading. You got this!
What’s this so called comfort zone?
The comfort zone is the place in life where nothing can go wrong. It’s safe and secure.
It’s actually an addiction because there’s no certainty in life.
When we stay in our comfort zone, nothing ever changes. The things you hunger for will always feel out of your reach, and there’s very little growth.
I bet there are times when you imagine yourself living your ideal life, and it seems incredibly free, real, and expansive. You can feel it completely awaken your soul.
But, then your inner critic comes in and warns you…
What if I don’t have enough money? What will my friends and family think? Do I have enough time for this? What will I do with my cat if I take that long of a vacation?
This inner critic scares you right back into your little comfort zone, and you just live out the same thing day after day – week after week – year after year.
This is NOT your intuition. This IS fear.
My Out of Comfort Zone Experience
Ever since I can remember, I’ve had this hunger to travel the world. I don’t just want to take the touristy two week trip to Europe and rush through it, but I want to immerse myself in cultures.
I want to go to the places that the locals go, and make friends with the people who live in the loft above my favorite coffee shop. I want to eat pho in Vietnam, bimbimbap in Korea, and relax under the Tuscan Sun.
I want to see the Great Pyrmids of Giza (the last of the ancient seven wonders still standing!), go on a self-made long overdue birthright trip to Israel, and run around in Strawberry Fields experiencing the energy that’s still lingers from John Lennon.
One of the things that held me back for so long was that I had a fear of traveling alone.
I didn’t have a lot of traveling experience. I did some traveling with my family growing up, but nothing adventurous. I was also single, and was sick of waiting for Mr. Right to come along before I traveled.
I had a hunger for adventure, and I was ready to take the leap!
I had a lot of irrational fears. How do I get a rental car? How do I return a rental car? How do I know if I’m staying at a good hotel in a good part of town? How does luggage work when I travel internationally? What if I get lost?
The first time I traveled alone was in my 30s, and this was all new to me.
The first trip I took was to The Hostel In The Forest. It was pretty simple, but a HUGE step. The Hostel is a co-op, and It was just three hours away, so it was an easy drive. I stayed in a treehouse, and met some of the best people ever. It was such a liberating experience!
Then, I decided to take a longer trip to California to do a Vipassana Retreat. This is where I learned how to book rental cars and hotels. I also had to set up ride shares to the retreat with strangers, so that was totally out of my comfort zone!
Then, finally, I went to Nepal. That was my first trip out of the country. I was in my early 30s at this point, and going BIG here taught me everything I needed to know about international traveling!
I look back now and realize I created out of my comfort zone experiences that helped me prepare.
When my ex and I broke up, I didn’t want to stop doing the things I loved, even if it was alone. So, I went to some concerts alone, attended networking events, and yoga workshops.
I was really shy and insecure at this time, so it was just what I needed to build my confidence.
Magic happens when you get over your fears! I highly recommend it!
Ok. Your Turn
Step 1: Small Steps, my friend. Small steps are where it’s at.
There’s a misconception out there that you have to take a huge leap in order to make big change, but that’s not true.
There’s really not a formula to whether you need to take the huge leap or the small step – it totally depends on the situation.
I’ve done both.
My story about traveling and involves a lot of necessary transitions, but each time they felt so liberating.
If there’s something that scares you, then even the smallest step will be HUGE.
We all want to go big, but I’ve found that the best way is to take simple consistent steps. This will be enough to push you out of your comfort zone, and the big big leap will happen before you know it.
So, go big or start small, but either way – do it!
Step 2: What is your wildest dream? Write that out & go crazy!
What kind of life would you live if anything was possible? If you had all of the money and resources at your fingertips, what would you be doing?
Close your eyes and put yourself there.
Now get out your journal, and write it all out.
Don’t hold back!
This part is seriously hard because your inner critic always steps in. You start thinking…
Is this realistic? Maybe I should think about moving somewhere less expensive than LA. I don’t know if I can move that far away from my family. Do I really need that fancy car? How will I make friends if I decide to live and work in Italy?
Seriously, you need to put your inner critic in his goddamn place.
You have the power to live the life of your dreams.
You’ve just been brainwashed into thinking you can’t for some reason or another. Maybe it’s how you grew up, maybe it’s what you heard on tv, maybe it’s the people you work with, or a soul sucking friend that doesn’t want to see you succeed (We all have that person, right?).
You can do anything. You have everything you need within your heart and soul, and this is the first step in finding it.
Step 3: What scares you about that dream?
Write out of the things that scare you. It’s taking all of your fears and getting it out of your brain. This is huge because once you can see it, it loses its power.
My Fear Examples:
Understanding how to get around
Booking a rental car.
Finding stuff to do.
Not having enough money.
Step 4: Action Steps & Habit Steps
The best way to get out of your comfort zone is to act out your fears.
You want to do things that make you a little nervous. This nervous energy is actually excitement. It’s an adrenaline rush, but you just don’t recognize it like that.
I had a fear of traveling alone. So, I started by doing local stuff alone that I was nervous about. This was super scary for me, but felt exciting at the same time.
These experiences completely killed my fears because I did it, I survived it, it wasn’t bad, and I loved it! I ended up going to more concerts alone and networking events alone.
Here’s the thing. Your wildest dreams are your callings. That’s the universe knocking on your door! She doesn’t just put that into your brain to make you jealous and envious. She wants you to follow that!
Once you get out there and do it, you’ll love it! You just have to take the first step. Then do it again. And again.
It’s your path, silly!
Still having trouble? Here’s an example of my action steps:
1. Go to places alone that freak me out a little: Concerts, plays, movies
2. Book a hotel room somewhere close (an hour away), and take a mini vacation alone.
3. Plan an out of town trip
—-Research yoga in the area
Step 5: Read your vision daily.
This is super important because this will help you move forward on it.
By reading your vision, you might find yourself taking action steps without knowing it.
By aligning yourself with your vision daily, it will become more real, and you’ll create more magical experiences in your life!
Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. – Brian Tracy
Still feeling unclear?
That’s okay. You just need to start doing exhilarating things to open the door to your creative genious!
Here are 20 awesomely scary things you can do to start your breaking out of the comfort zone!
- Go to a meetup group.
- Give a public speech.
- Stay in a hostel.
- Go skydiving or bungee jumping.
- Dye your hair a shade of Ombre.
- Attend a networking event alone.
- Try some adventurous food – like octopus!
- Go to a far away retreat alone.
- Go Go Karting.
- Use the neti pot.
- Start your dream business.
- Learn a new language.
- Do a crafty art project you found on Pinterest
- Create a meetup group.
- Cut your long hair short.
- Apologize to someone you hurt without rebuttal.
- Go to a party or concert alone.
- Get a colonic.
- Do your normal routine differently.
- Start a blog.
If any of those things make you excited and scared at the same time, then you need to do it!
It’s time to punch your inner critic in the face.
You can do anything, and you deserve to.
This is your life, isn’t it? You’re not living someone else’s dream, right?
Just take a second to close your eyes and put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath in and out.
Repeat after me: This is my time now. I’m ready to live out my calling. I can do this.
So, tell me what your dream is in the comments. What do you dream of doing that makes your heart light up?
Send it out to the universe right now!
To Fear Crushing Forever,