I actually got up this morning at 7am and did my full practice before I started work. My intention was to just do 10 Sun Salutations, and I would be happy with that. I’m embarrassed to say that I’m in a rut. My practice and blogging has been pretty scattered since I started my job over a year ago.
I work from home which is pretty awesome. I absolutely love it, and wouldn’t have it any other way, but at the same time I have fallen into a smorgasbord of bad habits with remote work.
I tend to feel isolated. I rarely leave the house because my job requires me to be on the phone and attend skype calls randomly through the day. It would be unprofessional and distracting to attend a skype call from a coffee shop surrounded by loud neighbors, or a with a frappuccino being blended in the background!
I fall into bad eating habits. Recruiting is a highly competitive business. I want to submit the best talent right away for a position, so that means I am scheduling back to back calls and I often forget to eat. When I remember, it’s something quick that I throw together at like 3pm.
I don’t know when to turn it off. I have an at home office, but I jump around from office, to living room, to kitchen table throughout the day. My “work from home” life meshes so closely with my personal life that I have a hard time shutting it off. Plus, I am super competitive, and I want to win! I don’t know if this is because I work remote, or that I just really love what I do. It’s possible that if I was at an office, I might stay and work late hours as well.
Yoga? Exercise? What’s that? It’s really important for me to practice daily, or I feel like I’ve lost myself. I have not been practicing daily, and the longer I go, the harder it gets, and the heavier my emotions become.
It devastates me that I’ve let all of my hard work of yoga teaching, training, and healthy living take a back seat.
It’s in me. It’s a part of me. And, it wants to break free!
I have learned that yoga is more than just postures. You can practice it daily even if you’re not moving your body.
The true definition of Yoga (according to Patanjali’s second sutra) is the cessation of the modifications, or fluctuations, of the mind. Our constant mind chatter draws us away from the present moment and creates vrittis (disturbances) in the mind. You know those what if stories we make up with no real validity behind it?
We can do this a number of ways, and postures (asana) is just one way that we can go through the process of using our physical ability and awareness to turn inward.
In order for me to get back on the mat, I am going to do some deeper work off the mat right now.
I decided that I was sick of moping around and being depressed about not practicing and writing, so I created some intentions. I started with self study & went down the list below. I didn’t create a timeline, but just took the next step when I felt ready….
Self-Study: I am still practicing self study by reading (or listening to) self-help and spiritual books. One of my favorites is Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. He talks about how to be completely present and let go of attachment and suffering. One of the things that really stuck with me is his advice for what to do if you find yourself in a bad situation. You either remove yourself from the situation, accept it, or take positive action. I am observing my emotions and learning to calm myself by accepting the present moment, and then committing to positive change when I find myself in a bad situation.
Compassion: A yoga teacher told me recently that I need to practice compassion with myself since I tend to be very hard on myself and turn to negative self-talk. If that continues, I will create more negative imprints that I will have to work through. Struggle will always happen in life. When we are working hard and focused in one area, we tend to fall back in another. I believe in balance, but I think that a goal of total life/work balance isn’t always realistic. We need to forgive ourselves when we get off track.
Community: My goal is to do home practice, but let’s be real. I need to get out of the house! This is the best thing I can do for myself right now, and I will build up a support system and make more like-minded friends.
Healthy Food: I just did the Whole30, which was amazing. I highly recommend it. It got me out of my cooking rut, and helped me break out of some bad bad food habits. To keep it going, I need to prep and plan my meals daily, and commit to keeping variety in my food. Wish me luck!
Ashtanga yoga is my favorite way to practice because I take an hour to observe where my mind wanders, how my emotions fluctuate, and how I treat myself. I can feel how my emotions and how the food I am eating effects my body. I can see how my practice is always different, so it teaches me to be unattached. And, even though it’s not really exercise, I do feel like the physical aspect creates alertness and energy to get me through the day, and keeps my body strong and in shape.
Yoga is like a living and breathing relationship. You have ups and downs. You have amazing breakthroughs and terrible fights. You have to do the work through the difficult times because you’ll fall in love over and over again. I am learning to remain unattached and start everyday and moment with a beginners mind.
I’ll get back to my daily asana practice. I’ll get back to my daily blogging. I just have a little bit of work to do in other areas right now.
The good thing is that change is possible. When you’re in a rut, then you just need a plan. You need to make that plan realistic and commit to it. You have to take small steps, and one step at a time. If you screw up – just start again. Don’t give up.
If you’ve ever experienced this, I’ve love to hear your actions for getting out of a rut. Or, if you’re currently experiencing this, I hope this maybe gave you some ideas to and motivation to get you back to your old self. I’d also love to hear your story! If you feel comfortable, email me or tell me in the comments!