Are you happy doing what you do every day?
I’m not talking about working in your dream job.
I’m wondering if you find a way to love everyday no matter what.
I never know whether I should say yes or no. I have a hard time making decisions, but I’ve gotten better. All growing up I was taught to never give up on an opportunity. I think that’s pretty common, and see it played out all the time in society.
This is why people are addicted to being busy, stressed out, and burning the candle on both ends.
The biggest myth is that busy is good.
Ever hear people say, “Can’t complain about being busy.” Or, “Being busy is a good problem.”
Those comments always come after complaints, so yes you certainly CAN complain about being busy. Just by reminding yourself not to complain about being busy doesn’t take away the fact that you’re miserable. It’s not changing your feelings about it, right?
You’re going to complain again and then repeat that annoying phrase… can’t complain about being busy!
So, here’s the deal. How do know what opportunities to pass up, and which one’s to take? How do you know when to say yes and no?
And, I’m not just talking about opportunities as in work related. I’m talking about everything you do. Everything you plan. Everyone you hang out with.
The only reason you should do something is if it’s bringing value to your life in some way.
I’ve made the mistake of taking on too many projects at once, and when I sit down to really boil it down – a few of them didn’t have any value to me.
I don’t mind doing things for free – in fact I like to sometimes. But, there still has to be value.
When you take on a free project, you need to connect with why you’re doing it.
I teach yoga classes for free sometimes. I do it for a few reasons. It gives people that extra push to try yoga for the first time. If they’re intimidated or a beginner, then having a free option is a perfect way to introduce that person to yoga. It’s also a way to get people to yoga who can’t normally afford it.
When I was doing a free monthly Saturday morning Ashtanga class, I was able to pull in the students that wouldn’t have tried it otherwise. From there, I’d always get a few yogis hooked, so it was definitely valuable.
It also helps me to become a better teacher by working with more and more people.
Seeeeee. Value doesn’t always have to be in the form of monetary compensation.
So, here’s another way to determine if you should be saying yes or no.
Do you become drained or energetic? I have a talent for using Excel, but after 20 minutes of working with it, I want to gouge my eyes out.
Value can also be in the form of happiness.
My good friend runs a yoga studio that I love. It’s a studio that’s truly built on serving others, and it’s grown into this beautiful community of compassionate and loving teachers and students. I always have ideas for how she could grow her student base. I really wanted to help her start an email list, social media promotion, and just get more students in the door. I’ve offered to do some things for free just because I love her studio and mission.
The value I get from that is pure happiness. I’m able to use my skills to help more people create a yoga habit through this amazing vehicle she’s created.
You have to do what feels expansive and gives you energy.
A few months ago, I had a friend ask me to build a website for free for a project he was starting. I agreed to do it because I knew how passionate he was about it, and I wasn’t doing much at the time. I thought this was a good way for me to build some structure while helping out a friend.
The only problem was that it ended up being a project that drained me and I had to pull out from it. I wasn’t passionate about his project, and it was way more work for free than I thought. Deep down I had a feeling this might happen, but didn’t listen to my inner voice.
This project caused me stress and held me back from moving forward on what was important to me. So, where is the value there?
It’s not completely worthless because we have to learn from everything that happens. We need to turn the negatives into positives somehow, right? So, I learned to listen better. I learned to wait a little bit before impulsively responding. I might have said no if I would have give myself a day to figure it out.
It’s always obvious when you want to say no, right? But, why is it so hard sometimes?
Have you heard of FOMO? It’s short for Fear Of Missing Out.
When I was in college, the cool place to go was downtown Orlando. I’ve always been a dive bar down the road kind of girl, but my friends always wanted to go to the loud downtown dance clubs with lots of flashing lights that required that I dressed up in my tightest dress and most uncomfortable heels.
Anyway, I knew I didn’t want to go, but I would always say yes. I’d still have fun, but knew I would have been happier following my intuition. Instead I ended up spending way more money on drinks than I wanted and a nasty hangover, which then resulted in me ordering Chinese fried rice the next day. That was my hangover food. That and 80s movies in bed.
I’ve pretty much gotten over my FOMO. I say no when I don’t want to do something. I also think about who I’m hanging out with, too. Am I hanging out with good people? Or, am I hanging out with energy vampires?
Listen to your intuition. Follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. Do what feels right.
If you find yourself complaining about being busy, well maybe something needs to go.
If you ever feel your heart closing, well maybe that’s a sign to say no.
I love you very much,
